What are Boundaries?

Boundaries play a crucial role in our lives as they serve as a means to safeguard our safety and well-being. They allow us to clearly define what we are willing to do and not do, as well as establish how we respond to others. When setting a boundary, it is important to focus on expressing what we will do, rather than attempting to dictate the actions of others. For example, you might say “If you continue to talk to me in that way I will need to end this conversation.” By outlining our boundaries, we create a framework that promotes healthy relationships and ensures that our needs are met.

What are Controlling Behaviours?

Controlling behaviors are actions or attitudes that individuals adopt in order to exert influence over others, dictating what they should or should not do. These behaviors often involve combining requests or demands with tactics such as intimidation or threats, aiming to ensure compliance with their wishes. By resorting to such methods, individuals seek to establish a sense of power and authority, potentially undermining the autonomy and freedom of those they seek to control.

What are the Difference Between Boundaries and Controlling Behaviours?

A boundary is a tool we can utilize to establish our personal limits and communicate what we are comfortable or uncomfortable with engaging in. It is important to note that boundaries are not intended to control or manipulate others, but rather to express our needs and desires. By setting boundaries, we create a framework for safety, relationships, and interactions that align with our values and preferences. On the other hand, control is a means of exerting influence over others to make them conform to our wishes or desires.

Examples

Boundary

Choosing what clothing you wear based on your comfort levels

Controlling Behaviour

Telling someone what they can and cannot wear based on your comfort levels

Boundary

Making a personal choice to create distance in one of your friendships to prioritize your well-being

Controlling Behaviour

Telling someone who they can and cannot be friends with

You deserve to feel safe and to have your boundaries respected.

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